Psalm 42:5

One of the greatest documentaries of the last several years is Murderball, the story of the United States quad rugby team, a Paralympic team of quadriplegics. A fascinating thing to watch in the film is the interplay between physical disability and mental attitude. As you might imagine, the quadriplegics who play murderball (quad rugby's nickname) are some of the most competitive and independent spirits in the world. They would kill themselves before letting anyone take pity on them. One of the players, Mark Zupan, tries to start physical altercations so that he can taunt people for not wanting to hit a wheelchair-bound man. He is trying to call attention to his self-sufficiency and strength in the face of his obvious weakness.

Of course, it's overcompensation. Feelings of weakness (the film begins with a painfully long scene of Zupan simply getting dressed) lead to professions of strength. The truth is, though, that these quadriplegics are suffering - you can see it in their faces. They live their lives in denial of it, in much the same way that we deny much of our suffering. Do we, knowing that Christ came to and for sufferers, wear the thorns in our flesh as badges of honor? It doesn't seem like it. We are more like quad rugby players, keeping our need deep beneath our surface, in the hope that Jesus won't have to come for us at all.

In a profound sense, we are just like Mark Zupan. We're spoiling for a fight. We want to be able to stand before Jesus and say, "Lord, You know we're not perfect! Look, we've suffered. Our family is broken, our self-esteem is low, we're confined to a wheelchair. It was a long, tough road, and we're a little woozy. But the important thing is, here we are." We want to think we made it ourselves. The truth is, we can't. We need Jesus.

Perhaps your life has made you aware that you're not making it. Today, remember that, though you may not be okay, Jesus gave His all for you and you are deeply loved.

-- Helping people live life with Jesus everyday,